The Gray Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce

...and Life Thereafter

A New Face on Fear

Face Fears
by Amy Lawson, MBA, CDFA®, RTT Practitioner®, C.Hyp

Fear. We’ve all felt it at one time or another, with most of us having felt it more times than we can count.

It can motivate us to fight or flee or it can stop us in our tracks.
It quickens our breath or takes it away.
It grips our heart, then makes it race.

WOW, what a powerful emotion fear is?!

What If We Could Befriend This Powerful Emotion?

What if that fear was trying to tell us that there is a life inside of us longing to live fully and that there is some work for us to do that will set us free to live it? What if the more we commit to this good work, the more joy we will feel, the more confidence we will have, and the more fear will loosen its grip on our hearts?

What if the message fear brings could not only lead us to a positive path but then serve as a signal when we stray from it?

If we could redefine fear’s “why,” would we not welcome it instead of wishing it away?

What if we breathe deeply into the fear, allowing our breath to soften it so that we can hear our own voices again? You remember your voice, the one that tells you are worthy of loving kindness and hot sex, from the same person?

What if everything we want is on the other side of that fear? Joy… Strength… Confidence… Love…

You Know The Fear

If you’re anticipating divorce or staring it square in the face, then you know fear. Fear of the unknown… of being alone… of paying the mortgage on your own…

If you don’t know what the law says you’re entitled to receive, ask a lawyer who specializes in family law. If you don’t understand the financial impact divorce will have on your future, ask a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.

You don’t have to master fear, dear friend, to have it serve your greater good. You can feel the fear and do it anyway. You just have to do the thing that scares you. Remember this the next time fear shows its face. Instead of feeling as though you want to fight, or flee, or freeze in your tracks, let fear serve as a reminder that YOUR future is in YOUR hands – your strong, capable hands.

You Have The Strength To Overcome Fear

While you may not feel strong in this moment, you are stronger than you know. Where you had no options, now you do. They may not look pretty or easy at this point, but given the ugliness of the difficult past, the future will be brighter and fuller because you are not the same person you once were, dear friend. You get to choose who you allow into your life and to what degree. You don’t need to have all of the answers right now. You just need to commit to doing the good work and to doing the thing that scares you the most.

Do the thing. Do the thing. Do the thing.

Say it with me: Do the thing. Do the thing. Do the thing.

One more time: Do the thing. Do the thing. Do the thing.

Look At It This Way

You now know you deserve better than what you’ve had. Even if you don’t know exactly what you want, I’m sure you know exactly what you don’t want, which is a GREAT place to start.

Wishing you peace & plenty!

Your gray girlfriend,


About the Author

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Amy Lawson, MBA, CDFA®, RTT Practitioner®, C.Hyp

As a divorced baby boomer, Amy, an independent investment advisor since 2001, formally expanded her services in 2016 to help older women navigate the daunting financial minefield of divorce after meeting numerous smart, well-educated, divorced women who lacked the funds to secure their financial futures.  She understands that for older women facing divorce, achieving an equitable divorce settlement is the first step.

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